WOW! I really loved it Keyan.If I was-not in this school now and I read this wonderful poem, then guess what I would of done/do?????I would go straight to my mum and say:
“Mum I want to move to this school!It’s called Devonshire Hill Primary School! You see… I read this fasinating, interesting and attracive blog on that school’s website and now it makes me want to go there. Can I go to that school pleaseeee?????”
That’s how good it is! I really want to read some more of this cool work… Ireally hope reading more! 🙂
Fram : Ela
WOW! I really loved it Keyan.If I was-not in this school now and I read this wonderful poem, then guess what I would of done/do?????I would go straight to my mum and say:
“Mum I want to move to this school!It’s called Devonshire Hill Primary School! You see… I read this fasinating, interesting and attracive blog on that school’s website and now it makes me want to go there. Can I go to that school pleaseeee?????”
That’s how good it is! I really want to read some more of this cool work… I really hope reading more! 🙂
From : Ela
A positive and persuasive piece of writing Keyan – well done. Try not to say “… you will be treated specially’ as this does not read very well. You could try…
Also, you will be treated kindly and with respect.
Hey Keyan,
What you have written about our school is all very true. Maybe you can do an accrostic poem about… The Devonshire Hill Primary School. Long but worth it. I hope you have persuaded people to come to our school.
Senem
Hi Keyan ,
What you written about our school is true. It was a very persuasive writing keep the good work up.
Where did you copy and paste those pictures? you should of put a comma after IF YOU JOIN ARE SCHOOL,
other than that was perfect.
WOW! I really loved it Keyan.If I was-not in this school now and I read this wonderful poem, then guess what I would of done/do?????I would go straight to my mum and say:
“Mum I want to move to this school!It’s called Devonshire Hill Primary School! You see… I read this fasinating, interesting and attracive blog on that school’s website and now it makes me want to go there. Can I go to that school pleaseeee?????”
That’s how good it is! I really want to read some more of this cool work… Ireally hope reading more! 🙂
Fram : Ela
WOW! I really loved it Keyan.If I was-not in this school now and I read this wonderful poem, then guess what I would of done/do?????I would go straight to my mum and say:
“Mum I want to move to this school!It’s called Devonshire Hill Primary School! You see… I read this fasinating, interesting and attracive blog on that school’s website and now it makes me want to go there. Can I go to that school pleaseeee?????”
That’s how good it is! I really want to read some more of this cool work… I really hope reading more! 🙂
From : Ela
This is good Keyan!
By: Joyce
A positive and persuasive piece of writing Keyan – well done. Try not to say “… you will be treated specially’ as this does not read very well. You could try…
Also, you will be treated kindly and with respect.
I hope that helps Keyan!
Mr Short
I really like your post about DHPS because everything you said is true.
Keep it up!
Georgia
Hey Keyan,
What you have written about our school is all very true. Maybe you can do an accrostic poem about… The Devonshire Hill Primary School. Long but worth it. I hope you have persuaded people to come to our school.
Senem
Hi Keyan ,
What you written about our school is true. It was a very persuasive writing keep the good work up.
Where did you copy and paste those pictures? you should of put a comma after IF YOU JOIN ARE SCHOOL,
other than that was perfect.