Hello Georgia I really liked what you wrote. It is really nice and I sat down for a moment and I felt really scared. I said what is happening to me then I almost fainted.
It was very scary.
Meryam
Hi Georgia,
I liked reading your blog post because it was interesting and exciting. However you should of described the house as-well as haunted so it can be more attention-grabbing. Also, you should of described how the thing chased you and what it looked like. In addition, I was also thinking that you could of added some pictures and maybe changed the font, but it doesn’t really matter since the writing is the most important.
I would truly love to read more of your excellent work.
By: Ela 😛
Hi Georgia,
I agree with Ela there are some things you can improve to make your writing a little bit better.But, apart from that I enjoyed reading your blog post.
Try not to use the phrase ‘haunted house’ as it’s too obvious. You create fear and tension by describing in detail characters or settings that are meant to be frightening (see my example below).
A sinister shape dominated the skyline atop the hill. As the moonlight broke through the dark clouds, I saw that it was a house. A house I hoped would be a place of safety. I could not have been more wrong…
Thankyou for the comment Ibrahim I do think I should have used the power of three somewhere in my writing.
Also thankyou for the advice Mr Short, next time I write a 50 word horror story I will use that advice.
Last but not least, thankyou to everyone else who commented on my blog.
From:Georgia
Hi ,
Georgia I thought you were going to haunt me for a moment.I think you could of made more of an effort into your presentation.
well done
by samiyah ahmed
Hello Georgia I really liked what you wrote. It is really nice and I sat down for a moment and I felt really scared. I said what is happening to me then I almost fainted.
It was very scary.
Meryam
Hi Georgia,
I liked reading your blog post because it was interesting and exciting. However you should of described the house as-well as haunted so it can be more attention-grabbing. Also, you should of described how the thing chased you and what it looked like. In addition, I was also thinking that you could of added some pictures and maybe changed the font, but it doesn’t really matter since the writing is the most important.
I would truly love to read more of your excellent work.
By: Ela 😛
Hi Georgia,
I agree with Ela there are some things you can improve to make your writing a little bit better.But, apart from that I enjoyed reading your blog post.
By:Joyce
Hello Georgia,
Try not to use the phrase ‘haunted house’ as it’s too obvious. You create fear and tension by describing in detail characters or settings that are meant to be frightening (see my example below).
A sinister shape dominated the skyline atop the hill. As the moonlight broke through the dark clouds, I saw that it was a house. A house I hoped would be a place of safety. I could not have been more wrong…
Do you see the difference?
Mr Short
Georgia Mr Short is right try and include more detail into your writing, but apart from that it ws a great piece of writing so well done I enjoyed it.
Lawa
Hi
I like the description, but I think you should describe the house.
Haroon
Hello
i really liked you description and the font, but you should use power of 3.
Ibrahim
Hello Georgia,
I like your horror story, I would love to hear more of this story.
Nice work!
By Premice
Thankyou for the comment Ibrahim I do think I should have used the power of three somewhere in my writing.
Also thankyou for the advice Mr Short, next time I write a 50 word horror story I will use that advice.
Last but not least, thankyou to everyone else who commented on my blog.
From:Georgia